Adam vs Planet Earth Chapter 3: Episode 1.3: Love, Death and Basketball.

Read chapter 3 of Adam vs Planet Earth by Omi_TheRobot5868 on NovelPedia.

————————————————————————— Episode 1.3: Love, Death and Basketball. ————————————————————————— “God, isn’t she the hottest.” Mariam whispers under her breath after finally landing a stripped 6 ball in. The Velvet Pistol wasn’t exactly her scene, too many guys who remind her of her cousin and not enough talk about potentially getting into DnD for the fifth time that month. However one thing, or one person, keeps her reluctantly coming back for more. Jane. “I don’t get it?” Adam retorts, eying down a solid 4 ball as he banters with his de facto coworker. “You said that having a crush on someone of the same sex is, and I quote, ‘A CIA designed torture technique’. Why do you do this to yourself?” He asks with warm yet deadpan affection. “Because Jane isn’t any random straight girl that I’m cursed with yearning for.” Mariam declares after a particularly embarrassing shot across the snooker table. “She’s got an attitude, loves boring ass historical fiction, and get this! I stalked her Spotify and found at least one Mitski song in half her playlists! Come on, that’s at least bi-curious.” She recounts her obsession to an oddly amused Adam. Adam arranges his eyeballs on what he is told to be a rolling gesture before being approached by a rugged figure in a leather jacket. He didn’t recognise him but the smell of tic tacs on his breath gave a decent clue. “You’re Denise’s roommate?” Tom interrogates. Adam and Denise’s pharmaceutical truce had been a week strong by now. The question shocks Adam, until he remembers a recent incident where Denise’s oceanic friend with benefits caught a glimpse of him in the living room. If he recounts correctly, he was trying to learn the rules of basketball. Adam nods. “Yes? And you are her…” The question is stopped by hesitation. He mentally scans his 3 week long internal archive of gossip and social cues. “Casual situational benefit?” He innocently posits. Tom drops his leather jacket persona and laughs, rolling with the punches. “Yea man i guess.” He shrugs. “Look man, you know as much as me that Denise is a special woman. So I’m thinking, you can put in the good word and help me become someone special to her.” The vulnerable confession comes as a shock. “I mean, it’s not like we’re competing? You’re gay right?” The final assumption draws a bewildered reaction from Adam, not sure how to fill in the gaps. “No I’m not…that would be torture.” The mix up fuels raucous laughter from Mariam before he tries to continue. “My intimate preferences simply don’t align with most common people of any sexual form.” Each word comes out slower than the last. Tom continues to be oddly non-phased,even slightly amused. “Ah ok, you’re on the spectrum. Tell you what mate, help me win over your roomie’s heart and I’ll teach you hoops.” Adam nods to his proposition, stopping himself from digging a deeper hole. Tom gives a gentlemanly wink before gesturing to the bar. “May I interest you two dorks in a drink?” His proposal incites panic in Mariam and casual acceptance from Adam. “So you’re the mysterious roomie Denise won’t stop talking about?” Jane banters as she puts together Tom’s usual, alongside drinks for Mariam and Adam. “One day you’re a news story waiting to happen, the next she can’t stop singing your praises. How do you do it?” She playfully asks the alien being, who is currently far more concerned with the tragically small spectrum of intoxicating liquids Earth has. “I can imagine. His types take a while to get used to but once you get past those initial bumps you learn to love’m. You know I’ve got a cousin that works with kids who have…” Tom’s speech is cut short by a notably loud clearing of Jane’s throat. “Anything here that makes your skin change colours?” Adam requests with such full sincerity that it leaves Jane wondering if he’s played too many video games, or is trying to get his hands on a secret LSD stash. “Nope, just good old fashioned liquid courage.” Jane jests as she fills up a pint of cider. “No celest