Adam vs Planet Earth Chapter 1: Episode 1.1: Close Encounters of the Second Tenant.

Read chapter 1 of Adam vs Planet Earth by Omi_TheRobot5868 on NovelPedia.

————————————————————————— Episode 1.1: Close Encounters of the Second Tenant. ————————————————————————— Denise sits back admiring her day’s work, a perfectly tidy room down to pixel precision. Every shade of pastel pink, white and purple perfectly oriented into a mechanically constructed shrine of valley girl efficiency. To make it even better, she has an hour to spare to do her make up. She was expecting a new roommate, an exchange student! The first impression is a military protocol in her eyes and she can’t let it go to waste. 4pm, she’s expecting them to arrive any minute now. Her perfectly dolled up face twists and contorts as she rehearses smiles and greetings for her new roomie. She adjusts her blonde hair to be just right every time the thought crosses her mind. Minutes passed and nothing! There’s a knock on her door. Denise lunges for the doorknob and locks into her routine. “Heyyyyyy roomie!” She coos like it was a lifelong catchphrase. Her enthusiasm is rewarded with a deadpan stare from the exchange student, a tall ethnically ambiguous man with flowing shoulder length hair. “Rude.” She mutters under her breath. “Sorry.” The man recites. “No offence is meant, your planet’s customs are still foreign to me outside of popular media, which I am told isn’t entirely accurate.” The revelation is dropped with such casual nonchalance that even Denise takes a moment to realise it. “Excuse me?” The blonde exclaims in both confusion and outrage. “Are you mocking my hospitality?” She interrogates with further offence. “Just because you’re foreign doesn’t mean you get to play dumb, where are you even from?” She asks, almost certain she can make this act crumble. “I am from Hextrimobal 5-4-1. At least that’s the human accessible translation.” He iterates in an unintentionally insulting matter-of-fact tone. “My name’s Adam by the way.” Dumbfounded, Denise gawks at Adam as he moves in, unable to formulate a response to the audacity she was witnessing. Watching him unpack in his room, she leans against the door frame. “Does everyone on Hexagonland look exactly like a regular ass human?” She sneers, confident in her skepticism. “No,” Adam politely answers, “Hexi 541 is home to a diverse population of intelligent life forms. I myself am a Xentiviac, we’re shapeshifters, making us excellent choices for the exchange program! I’m confused by your disbelief. Was this not detailed in your debrief?” He subtly morphs his face into what one would assume to be the raising of an eyebrow. “Debrief!” Denise drops any pretense of cordiality and glares at the invader in her apartment. “You piece of shit, finally lied yourself into a corner, there was no debrief, you inconsiderate sack of shit.” The rant erupts from her mouth. “Huh, there must’ve been a scheduling error.” Adam posits, followed by a scolding look. “However I’ll have you know I have done everything in my ability to be considerate at the moment.” “Oh really? So that’s why you just waltz in here, LARP as a fucking alien to avoid respecting common decency and then just ignore all the effort I put into this apartment and myself to make you comfortable! For fucks sake just self diagnose like a normal dickhead.” She punctuates her outburst with an intense eye roll. Adam, who for a moment seems legitimately sorry, tries to calm the situation. “Could you,” he pauses, “just leave. I’m about to integrate some extraterrestrial technology into my quarters and to avoid an interplanetary incident I’d like you to avert your attention.” He explains. “How convenient!” Denise snorts as she flips her hair and walks away. “I’m heading out to the dive bar down the street. If you feel like apologising tonight, you know where to find me.” She announces as she puts on a bright pair of boots. The Velvet Pistol was a true paradox of appeal. The dive bar was a gathering point for both painfully hip young adults and middle aged macho pseudo-stoics alike. Denise lurked at the bar as Jane put together her usual coc