Adam vs Planet Earth Chapter 2: Episode 1.2: How it Feels to Chew 5 Gum.

Read chapter 2 of Adam vs Planet Earth by Omi_TheRobot5868 on NovelPedia.

————————————————————————— Episode 1.2: How it Feels to Chew 5 Gum. ————————————————————————— A late night record store would be an absurd business proposition to most, very much due to the fact that it is. Despite this, Slam Pow Tapes has lived a long and tired life on the campus of Sadler University. Starting off as a small thrift shop for cassette tapes, the collectors paradise grew to include CDs, DVDs, Blu-rays, game cartridges and, against the owner’s wishes to not cave into hipster trends, a decent selection of vinyl. The diversity of odd and esoteric media alongside its late opening hours made it a haven for passionate fans of Earth’s artistic canon. All of which owe the store’s lasting success to the dozens of stoners who come every day to laugh at old pornos, who make up the bulk of the customer base. “Let’s get moving people!” Kenny barks at his employees, storming around the shop clapping his hands with the necessary amount of unearned importance needed to keep the establishment afloat. Turning his attention to Adam he glares at him as the clueless spacefarer shuffles through a stack of old horror films. “And you! If you’re gonna barge in here every night and distract my employees you might as well join the team, let’s get a move on people! I’m already seeing a horde of self impressed 20 somethings coming our way! Make sure to put all the art house DVDs up front and get those shitty post punk vinyls displayed, anything with a cigarette on it is our golden egg tonight!” “Are you gonna try telling any of those ladies about your so-called band tonight?” Mariam teases Toby as they move to get rid of anything that’s more fun to watch or listen to, than it is to talk about. “Or is that well dry after you bombed at open mic last week.” The shabby Arab tomboy claps some dust off her hands as Adam joins their efforts. “Hey! It wasn’t that bad!” Toby exclaims, laughing to himself just remembering the night. “Adam liked it, didn’t you?” He gestures at what felt like his long time friend despite him just completing his official orientation on the planet. “It was my second day on Earth. I would have enjoyed anything outside my bureau-assigned cubicle back then.” Adam retaliates, drawing a defeated sigh from the patchy aspiring musician. “Well what about you Mary? Still gonna flirt with all those record label heirs cosplaying as indie darlings? For a big fat lesbo you sure know how to get them wrapped around your finger!” Toby interrogates in an attempt to turn the tide of the conversation. “Tobias!” She holds her hand to her mouth in mock offence. “You know that’s different, I’m not desperately trying to impress a woman with shitty bangs. I’m helping business, all it takes is pretending to be interested in their hot takes on Tarantino and boom! Daddy’s trust fund keeps this shop afloat another week.” Toby throws his head back in laughter, landing a high five on Mariam’s palm. Kenny walks past them, adjusting the cap he wears to conceal his withering afro. “If you kids need me I’ll be in the break room. I’m afraid if I stay here too long I’ll get second hand gentrified and they’ll have my ass listening to ‘experimental’ hip hop.” He announces as the staff playfully salute his departure. As the wave of ‘aspiring’ creatives make their way across the store, most likely going to or returning from a slam poetry event disguised as a house party. Toby and Adam stand behind the counter. Despite his earlier deflection, Toby takes a moment to fix his gingerish blonde mane only to grit his teeth at the texture of his unkempt facial hair. Looking over to his alien companion, he continues his secret appreciation for their mutual commitment to shoulder length hair. They watch in sincere awe as Mariam pulls out all the stops sweet talking a man who is clearly just itching to show off his ham fisted attempts at ‘authentic’ Arabic pronunciation. “Look at that!” Toby comments as he snaps his finger into a pointing gesture. “She’s complimenting his