Arachnoextinction Chapter 30: Chapter Thirty - Stop Turning On The Lights!

Read chapter 30 of Arachnoextinction by ShowerKrogan on NovelPedia.

"What on earth did you find?" I asked, scared for the answer. "A gift from God, or maybe the devil based on what it is. Either way, this just got a lot more fun," she said. Dr. Kale inched his way out of the pantry. A see-through bottle with a clear liquid in his hand and a look of uncertainty crossed his face as he watched Karen. "I have so many questions regarding what you just said. I don't know where to start… more fun?" I said. Karen walked out of the pantry with Dr. Kale following a safe distance behind her. A crooked smile spread across her face. She held up her hands; she had a can of aerosol in one, and a huge lighter in her other. "Who wants to watch some spiders burn?!" "Whelp. I'm hard," Dr. Kale said, taking a drink from a large bottle in his hands. "Who wants to watch Dr. Kale burn?!" Karen said. I half-raised my hand, and Dr. Kale flashed me an offended look. "What? I've never seen someone flamethrower someone else before, sounds kind of awesome," I said. "Alright, you have a point," he acknowledged. "Do you have the peppermint oil?" I asked him and pointed to the bottle in his hand. "Oh yeah, that," he said and slid the bottle behind his back. "Yes… that," I said. "That dropped. It's gone," he said. "Perfect. Because why not, right?" I said. "Right," Dr. Kale said. "That was rhetorical. You should assume everything is rhetorical from now on," I rubbed my temples. I pictured him trapped again in the web back in the electrical room. It made me grin. Then the memory of the spider flood chasing us into the kitchen smacked that smile from my face. They're probably finding a new way in now. It won't be long until we are overrun. “At least, the closet smells lovely?” Dr. Kale said. “Can you please just stop breathing?” I said. “No. I mean yes. Well, sort of, I suppose?” Dr. Kale said and took several large and audible gulps from the bottle in his hand. “Isn’t it amazing how breathing is completely an involuntary act, but can switch to voluntary? All you have to do is realize you’re breathing. Then you’re suddenly in control! Same with blinking. Just think about blinking for a minute. We blink all day and don’t even notice, but when you think about it, you have to make yourself blink. It’s quite annoying! Or how you can always see your nose, but your brain chooses to ignore it? But, then you think about how you can see it, and now it’s all you can focus on. Between being aware of your breathing, blinking, and being able to see your nose, it’s enough to drive a man crazy! Am I right?” “I’m going to kill you!” Karen said, and walked toward him with her hands outstretched for his throat. Dr. Kale ducked away from her. “Also, like an itchy nose. Someone mentions how itchy their nose is, and suddenly your nose itches!” “That doesn’t work on me,” I said and scratched my nose. I realized I was doing it and quickly dropped my hand. “All of this to say, no, I cannot stop breathing,” Dr. Kale said and took another drink. “Even if I did long enough to pass out, the breathing would resume on its own, and I would be just fine.” “Prove it. Also, what the hell are you drinking?” I demanded. “What, this?” he said and held up the bottle in question. I said nothing, letting my silence answer his idiotic question. He took another drink and said, “Oh, this is vodka.” “I hate you with an epic passion,” Karen growled. “Agreed. Let’s tie him to the wall again,” I said. “Whenever I get drunk, I tend to quote Airplane ,” he said with a soft sigh. “What the hell does that mean?” Karen asked. “ Airplane is a movie. A good one, at that,” I said. He took a big swig from the bottle and then peered inside to see how much was left. “I like movies. Have you guys ever seen a grown man naked?” he asked in slurred words. “Yes, Dr. Kale. We all got your emails every morning,” Karen said with disgust. Then she mumbled under her breath so that only I could hear, “And ‘grown’ is a bit of an exaggeration.” “I’m pretty sure that is from Airplane ,” I said. “Yo