Curses and Will Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - The Color of a New Dawn

Read chapter 4 of Curses and Will by Simply No One on NovelPedia.

The silence between us felt deep that morning, deep like the ocean, but for the first time it didn't feel like it was trying to drown me. It carried something lighter. Something closer to recovery than ruin. We stayed by the river until the sky turned pale, then stood and walked back toward our homes without much being said. There wasn't much left to say. Some nights empty the both of you out completely. The wall I'd spent years building had a crack in it now, and I couldn't pretend otherwise. I couldn't hold the rest of it up alone anymore, not after last night. When I got home, my skin still felt warm, actually warm, for the first time in thirteen years. Someone had noticed me. Someone had needed me to still be here. That feeling stayed with me through the motions of getting ready, the uniform, the toothbrush, the same expired bread that somehow tasted less like punishment than it usually did. The sunlight through the window looked different. More yellow than gray. At school, the crowd felt different too, though I doubt anything about them had actually changed. I still kept my head down out of habit, but it felt less like hiding and more like choosing where to look. I sat at my desk in the corner the same as always. After a while, Tsukiakari came in and dropped into the seat beside mine. The stares followed her the way they always did. The whispers too, quiet but sharp enough to leave marks if you let them. I'd built up a tolerance for that a long time ago. She acted like she hadn't heard a single word of it, laughing softly at something, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, talking to me like nothing in the room was wrong. I didn't answer. But I was smiling. A real one this time. I didn't try to hide it. Mrs. Kouya walked in and started the lesson, and her words blurred together the way they always did, formless and distant. Except this time, somehow, I remembered every single thing she said. I couldn't explain it. Maybe attention works differently once something in you stops bracing for the next blow. After school, Tsukiakari grabbed my sleeve and asked me to come with her somewhere. Her favorite place, she said, without telling me what that meant. I felt the eyes on us the second we left the gate together. Watching. Already deciding what story they'd tell about it later. I hesitated. She didn't wait for me to finish hesitating. She just took my hand and started running. I couldn't say no to that. Or maybe the truth was simpler and harder to admit: I didn't want to say no. Some part of me, the part that had spent years keeping people at a careful distance, wanted her inside the walls anyway. We crossed Gekko Bridge, just outside the village near the tree line, and finally slowed when there was no one left around us. Just wind moving through branches, and somewhere below, the quiet rush of water. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I started a conversation instead of waiting one out. "So where exactly are we going?" My voice shook a little on the way out. She turned, tilting her head, hair swinging with the motion. "Just trust me on this one. C'mon, keep up." She took off again, my hand still caught in hers, and before I'd decided to follow, I was already following. "Slow down," I shouted after her, half laughing despite myself. We came out at a river deep in the trees, the kind of place that felt built for quiet. The air smelled like rain that had only just passed through. Tsukiakari grabbed a rope hanging from an old branch and swung herself across the water without a second of hesitation, landing easy on the far bank. "Your turn, Shin!" I froze where I stood. "That's not safe. Come back over here." She laughed, loud and unbothered. "What, the kid who tried to throw his life away an hour ago is scared of a rope swing now?" "That's not the same thing." "Don't be a coward about it. I'm leaving without you if you don't hurry." I sighed. There was no version of this where I won the argument. I grabbe