Magician's Touch (Deadly Touch book 3) Chapter 46: 46: Part Of Me Died Last Night

Read chapter 46 of Magician's Touch (Deadly Touch book 3) by Deb E Howell on NovelPedia.

Llew kept falling asleep, her arms slipping from Jonas’s shoulders. She didn’t want to fall asleep. There was work to do. She found herself rousing with her head in Jonas’s lap, where his bloodied knife also lay, its dull edge at the top of her head, while his hand rubbed her shoulder in an effort to soothe. She no longer feared that knife, not while it was in his possession. The blood still on it, though, was too close to Braph himself and a chill went through her. Llew pushed herself back and met Jonas’s gentle smile. “Hey, sleepyhead.” His eyes were still haunted, a sadness lingering in that smile. Llew did need to sleep. She needed to eat, too. She glanced over her shoulder to where Karlani still lay. The Syakaran would’ve ensured Llew didn’t go hungry. The Syakaran who had held Llew down while Aris killed her unborn children. The woman who had thought it funny to shove Jonas to the ground and kill Llew, and had temporarily paid the ultimate price for such entertainment, and learned from it. Llew believed that. She truly believed Karlani would’ve redeemed herself with time. Braph had taken that opportunity from her. And Sam … Llew’s eyes heated with threatening tears as she let her gaze rest on his crumpled form. All Sam had known was a cage, conscription before he was even born, and the dream of a better future for such a short time. He should’ve achieved it; he deserved that much. Her tears were held back by a rage directed at Braph. Skirting around his leather-encased form, she looked upon the body of Orin, her half-brother. A part of her acknowledged that as fact and mourned that they hadn’t known each other as siblings, while another part placed the label ‘half Braph’ on him, injecting a dispassionate distance between them. It was a strange place in which to sit, and not for the first time she wished she could return to the banks of Cheer’s Big River and simply worry about her next meal and how to keep herself clothed. A simpler time. A time before she had killed children simply so she could keep living. “I think Braph may have been right in that,” Jonas murmured. “The risk of an Immortal becomin’ someone like Braph or Aris may be too great.” Llew turned to him. He was saying that their own children should not have lived. How could he say such a thing? “I know,” he said, his own expression pained. “I won’t pretend it was good, and maybe it wasn’t right. He was just a kid, but he killed you, Llew. And there was somethin’ … Even Braph feared him.” He paused, but Llew had nothing to add to Jonas’s thoughts on this. Were they both terrible people for justifying the death of a child? “I don’t know. I hesitated.” His lips twisted. “And Braph always seems— seemed to make things make sense in the moment. And by the time I thought the kid might deserve a chance, Blink put him out of his misery and … I can’t condemn him for it. It has to have been the right choice.” Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or simply overwhelm; Llew burst into tears. She folded her arms on Jonas’s thighs and pressed her forehead to them as a mess of thoughts tumbled over themselves. Orin had killed her, and he was only a child. Jonas’s hand warmed her shoulder again. “I’m sorry.” Llew shook her head where it rested. She didn’t know what to think. Braph had been awful, and he’d been able to be so awful because he was Karan and had learned to be a magician. Or, he’d learned to be a magician because he was so awful and willing to do terrible things. And now Jonas could be a magician and do good. She wouldn’t thank Braph for it. It wasn’t fair to be in a position to choose life or death for others and never know if it was right . Llew wished she could be back by Big River, only having to justify acquired purses. Who were they to decide who got to live or die? And yet, she could. She could choose not to heal someone if she didn’t want to. And Jonas had chosen, finally, to kill Braph. It was a terrible power. Llew nearly succumbed to sleep again. And her sto