Mortal Protection Services Chapter 8: IV.A: Abstainer

Read chapter 8 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

IV.A: Abstainer "Ahhhhh!" I was apparently screaming as I pulled my head out of the Experiencer helmet. Had I been screaming the whole time? Jims and Jameses, that left me so interminably hungry . Which is really very odd. I've been watching and listening to my own consciousness branches for fifteen hundred years and never once have I stopped to wonder why I hadn't needed to eat. Hyperspatial existence both is and isn't. There simply aren't solian words to adequately describe it. "It'll take a century or more for the hunger to fade." Oh lovely, Jim had taken a moment from his busy schedule to come talk with me after setting me on that wretched path. "Why'd you let me do that then? Why'd you 'make' me do that?" "You humans can be so easy to manipulate sometimes. I swear. Tell'em 'no' and they go absolutely hog-wild with 'yes'." Jim laughed and all of hyperspace laughed with him. "I did it so that you'd know , before you decide to go back." "What the hell do you mean decide to go back? Why would I decide to go back? I'm the noted non-decider, the Abstainer." "No no no, not the this you, the little yous, dingus. The watchers. You know the knowledge link goes both ways right? They know what you know, whether they know they know it or not." "Jim... Are you telling me that you think my fractal consciousnesses that observe each branch of the children of Sol are planning mutiny and want to rejoin their branches?" "Mutiny!? Heavens no. Otherwise, yes. There's a betting pool going amongst the MPS PMS students about which will go first. The Scourge having recently gained warp capabilities has really... cranked up the workload. They're all hoping you'll do something about it. Sooner than later, Abstainer. They know that eventually you'll want to intervene." Jim, I could say he stood there, because in a sense of myself I was sitting in my office that I'd made in hyperspace and he was standing in there with me. But Hyperspace is... Weird. Some kind of combination of a computer simulation, subspace, and the damn TARDIS, except time only flows in one direction as far as I can tell. You can certainly pause it though, if you want, and spend all the time outside of time you need looking around. Ahh... I'm suddenly feeling all the more manipulated by Jim, telling me he was busy. Busy with what? Pause time, asshole. He stood there, but he was also all the there , there was all around me. "Thoughts?" Jim snapped me out my hidden reverie. "Hmm... Now that you've said it, I think you're right. My other mes will certainly get involved. How many simulation cycles did you run to figure out the right thing to say?" "Ohh... you aren't gonna like the answer, Abstainer. This was eighty five thousand six hundred and fifty five, and I am still not entirely satisfied enough to try it for real. Wish me luck simulation. I'm about to go pull another you's head from the Experiencer helmet." "Two million, one hundred seventeen thousand and four." "Just four?" "Is that problem?" "No it just seems odd." "Four is Even." "You know what I mean, Jim" "Four million, Exactly." "That seems an unreasonably round number. Are you bullshitting me Jim? "Same exact thing as three million. I should just screw around for five million, shouldn't I? This data will be worthless." "Six million, eighty five thousand, six hundred fifty five." He smiled. "That seems like... a lot. Am I the real me now?" "Sure, lets say you are. does it matter?" "Well that's reassuring, Jim, real reassuring. I guess no, it doesn't matter. I'd never know anyhow, right? So why run so many simulations? Just gotta try all the dialog options or something?" "Humans can be touchy on a one to one level." Jim shrugged. "Much easier for me to predict their activities at scale. Best to explore many options before important one on one conversations." Jim's smile broadened, and he tossed a manila folder on my desk. "One thing is true in all the simulations. You certainly shouldn't read that. And absolutely do not follo