Mortal Protection Services Chapter 42: XI.JG: Jimmi's Gamble

Read chapter 42 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

XI.JG: Jimmi's Gamble Jimantha Jimsonson In the shitter 'I swear I'm not a scourge, but I remember its mind. Please , rescue me.' The 99.4% human Marta's words echoed in my head as I sat on the toilet, pants on, waiting for Ingamar to act. 99.4%. Sweet Christmas. That's .2% more human than I am, than Ingamar or Dilt is, but .1% less than Luke and Leia. We should have told them that by now. What an odd time to have been feeling guilty about not telling my niblings they aren't exactly 100% human. A not insignificant part of me was expecting this play to not work out, for me, 'please' Marta was already outside. It had worked out great for her. All I had managed was to slip to Ingamar was to send his cat. I was sure that with that he could work out a quick rescue mission. Lucifer had an onboard life support system. Good enough for one for a short time. I'd linked my space suit to him before when I needed an extra twenty minutes outside a ship to finish a quick engineering task that didn't turn out to be quite so quick. I wasn't really certain how I was planning to link him to my not-space-worthy undersuit, but I'd made my choice, and I hope he'd figure it out. 'I swear I'm not a scourge, but I remember its mind. Please , rescue me.' It was the please that did it. That real, genuine cry for help convinced me. That 'please' was laced with every last ounce of human fear and all the emotional control poor Marta could muster. I could hear her barely restrained terror. If I survived this, the intel would be worth it. If I didn't survive, it had damn well better be worth it too. There was a shake, an explosion? No, an implosion. The air rushed from the room so fast it lifted me off the toilet seat and damn near slammed me into the stall door. It pushed all the air out of my lungs, not that I was going to be able to keep it anyways with the sudden near vacuum exposure. I tried to ignore the sensation of the liquid in my eyes boiling away. Not as painful as it sounds because it was boiling due to lack of atmospheric pressure, but still very unpleasant. Like... pop rocks in your eyeballs, but it doesn't really sting like you'd expect, it just the sizzles and pops. Also, fun fact, everything gets a bit blurry because your eyeballs change shape in the lack of pressure. That part is mildly painful, again, surprisingly not that bad. I've had worse hangovers. There was a thunk I felt reverberate through the room with my feet. I threw open the stall door to see a couple of Martas starting to 'Scourge out' on the ground, but they'd come so close to human it was a very slow process, especially as they were also asphyxiating. That's what you get for trying to be people, you fucks. Enjoy choking. I dashed out of the room, camera in hand, and was greeted in the hall by five more Martas starting to merge together. Gross. I staggered a little further and started to black out. My fifteen seconds of useful consciousness was just about done and I'd hardly done anything useful. I noticed the entire roof of the building was gone and there was a pair of bright lights coming my way from above, good, that was good. The whole building, or well, what was left of it, shook again, as something heavy landed. I lost my balance and fell down face first. Fucking bullshit gravity. Always gettin' me down... I briefly blacked out. I felt warm air on my face, and realized I was breathing... and wearing a helmet. Then an odd, sensation like something wet was being sprayed on me about halfway down.. As I fluttered back awake I saw a robocat with glowing red eyes looking back at me. His back end was facing me, and he was looking me dead in the eyes while he... lifted a leg. "Ahh, what the fuck! Jim dammit." Lucifer was pissing on me, after a fashion. He was a robocat, so it wasn't real pee, but it was an unfortunately orange colored wetness he was spraying on me. After it hit me and set for a second it puffed up into a foam that became airtight... and also rigid and immobile.