Mortal Protection Services Chapter 39: X.ASWO : A Spaceship With Oars

Read chapter 39 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

X.ASWO : A Spaceship With Oars Ingamar Ma-ana Aboard the Amish Papacies "Roger, Leia. Report to the bridge..." I glanced at the naked man on my bridge, "... in five minutes." I pinched my brow. The last thirty minutes of my life had been... a lot. Jim's boss/dad was in a human suit, shaking hands with my crew, balls out . And he was somehow still charming them... It was like some sorta surreal nightmare. My niece was in the galley with some of the gruffest, toughest, fartinest spacefarers this side of Sagittarius A*. And finally, my precious baby robocat was back alive... well alive as he'd ever been. I may have just ugly cried over his return in front of my bridge crew. Whatever. It couldn't possibly hurt my 'captain's image' any more than being related to Dilt and Jimmi's already had. James was done introducing himself, so I took off my captain's jacket and handed it to him. "Cover your bits, man." "Ah, thanks. Tad brisk in here innit?" My entire bridge crew giggled. He wrapped it around his waist in such a way that it wore like a sideways skirt, he turned to Lt. Commander Berlin, "Is it Fashion, dear?" He modeled his 'skirt' by swishing it back and forth a little. She smiled, ever so slightly. That was as good as a belly laugh from Berlin. " So Fashion! Now all we need is a too-small jacket on top. Here," She took off her own uniform jacket and handed it to him, "stretch this out a little for me." "I don't know about that," James said with a hint of laughter. Then he managed something I'd seen a dozen men try at and fail; he complimented her physical appearance, without getting punched in the mouth. "Look at the size of your arms ! And your shoulders. Goodness me, such a physique . I bet you could rip my arms off and beat me to death with'em if you wanted to. I'm not sure I'll be able stretch anything out on this except the gut, but thanks, I'll try!" He put it on, and was mostly right that he wasn't stretching out much but the gut as he tried to pull it closed. "No no. Leave it open," Lt. London piped up. " Fashion !" "If you guys are done fucking around, can someone take him to get a hardsuit-on and throw him out the airlock," I said. "And bring our jackets back." "Aye, sir." Lt. Commander Berlin's smile at him didn't falter as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "Come along, James. You're gonna do a little space walk." "Ingamar, this is no way to treat family." James complained as he was escorted off the bridge. I jabbed a few buttons on my captains chair and reopened my audio into the captain's comms. Jimmi and Dilt were still talking, working out logistics details, but they stopped talking and looked at me when I butted into the channel. "Jimmi, there's more capacity to take on strays on your ship. I'm sending you one, maybe two people in hardsuits, we'll see what Leia says when she gets to the bridge." "My officers in the brig are standing by for more miscreants." She smiled, "Luke has minor bruises, and a sprained wrist they're already fixing from his ejection from Hyperspace, but he's fine. Ops, prep a shuttle for a man overboard pickup." "You tell their asses to get back here this instant! And you let those little shit's know that..." Dilt started ranting, so I looked at Ensign Yoto and gave a handsignal to mute my brother. "Jimmi, how long are repairs gonna take to get your spinal laser back online?" "The Vaggigablaster?" "Ugh, yes." "The dwarves and snails in engineering say we really oughta go hit a drydock and get ourselves sorted out, but since that ain't happening, two days at best, probably three. Five days at worst, if things are much more fucked than we realize. We didn't exactly design her with our particular style of friendly fire in mind." "Didn't know the Scourge could lay traps like that when we designed her either. We shall persevere. The Amish Papacies repair and resupply should only take about an hour, tops. Is your repair gonna let you walk and chew gum, or is this one of those park it kind of thin