Mortal Protection Services Chapter 24: VII.TP: Third Place

Read chapter 24 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

VII.TP: Third Place Jimantha Jimsonson Jimolean Enfuckulation Station 1 A gentle, almost imperceptible chime alerted from the comms and a soft, friendly, female voice calmly cooed, "This is a Mafdet alert. I repeat, this is a Mafdet Alert. Whose a good kitty-kitty. You are." "A Mafdet Alert? What the hell have you been up to, my dear?" I reach down and gave her a little scritch on the head. "Crimes, no doubt." "MRrrop Prrrow." She did that cat thing where they bash their face into your hand for more love. I was only gaian, how was I supposed to resist this level of cuteness? I wasn't, that's how. "Okay, miss ma'amjesty. I will love you." I grabbed her by her whole cute little cat face with both hands and ruffled up her face getting my fingers all up around her ears and over the top of her forehead. She purred vigorously, so I reach under her arms and scooped her up like the big kitty baby she was. I was face deep in her belly when my neighbor Jimtarng (the Killitoot) knocked - ever so gently - on my door. "It's open." I said at a regular speaking volume. Jimtarng had a cat brush in both hands, and whispered "I know it's your first-" "So what's a Mafdet Alert?" I asked through a face of the eponymous belly. Oh no! Witnesses! Mafdet couldn't have witnesses to our carefree canoodling. She was a lady of High Dignity and Grace , and I had her Majesty in an Indecent position. In other words, she noticed Jimtarng and absolutely flipped the fuck out. She rabbit kicked my face - at hyperspeed - leaving me briefly stunned. While I was dazed she used her full claws, front and back, to crawl up and around onto my shoulders, at regular speed. Well... regular panicking-cat speed, which was still well too fast for me to do a thing about it. Then she bounded through the back wall of my quarters, kicking me into Jimtarng as she left. He did not move to catch me. He just stood there, mouth agog, eyes wide open, Killitoot surprised face, as I bumped into him. "I guess she doesn't like you." I touched my face and pulled away a hand with a tiny smear of blood on it. Ow, thanks Mafdet. All the spots she'd clawed me climbing over and jumping off started crying out in pain too. I probably had thirty something tiny holes in my skin from that... experience . I took one of the brushes from the dumbfounded spacesquatch for next time, then waved a hand in front of his face and he seemed to finally reboot. "Great Mother Tree, she is as beautiful as she is skittish." "Always has been." I pocketed the brush. It was no torgritoid's mustache, but it'd do. "So, which way to medical, she just fucked me all up." "What..." He ignored my multiple minor injuries, "What is that smell?" "Oh, she brought me a present. Destroyed my monitor flinging it off her paw. It weights a ton, too, I think. Get some gloves and lets bring it with us." I heard snarling cat sounds from my wall neighbor through the back wall. Felidian and Mafdet snarls. The felidian's I understood as words, Mafdet's I did not. "Oh shit! We meet again. Ow, hey what the... No no.. I'm- Ow ow ow. No wait, you're a good girl. C'mere.. I just want to do a little bitty bit of brushing. NNNyooo! Come back princess..." "Mafdet alert over. I repeat. Mafdet has gone. Anyone with hyperspace floof, please report to the command center immediately." Jimtarng locked eyes with me, and slapped the comm open. "She was in the gaian's quarters. We're headed to the command center now, someone bring a DRD(dermal regeneration device) and some alcohol pads, she's clawed our gaian up pretty good." "Me too," Added the Felidian to the open comms. Once my fellow Jimoleans had plucked every last hyperspace cat hair from my clothes they cleaned and closed up all the holes she'd put in my meatsuit. I chose to take a moment to think while they investigated that nasty, stinky, impossibly dense ball. They'd figure out how to extract a massive amount of power from that ball in a little bit when they stopped arguing about who got to use