Mortal Protection Services Chapter 34: IX.JAMES: J.A.M.E.S.

Read chapter 34 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

IX.JAMES: J.A.M.E.S. JAMES Abstainer's Office, Hyperspace. "What about megagramps?" the girl-child asked me. "Or ubergramps?" "The suffix isn't the problem. How about you call me James?" I said it with no periods, easier for humans to say that way. She frowned. "I guess, fine. Gigapappa James." She knew that was not what I wished to be called... but she insisted on needling me all the same. How very human of her. "How do I make a mop and bucket?" She gestured at her brother on the floor. "Luke hurked his beeschurger all over the floor." I manifested for her, a mop and bucket. The Abstainer laughed some more and helped the boy-child back to his feet. "Thanks, grandpa," the boy said, and the damn Abstainer just beamed out the biggest, 'cheesiest' looking smile I've seen on a face. "Thanks Jrampa James." She shook her head and her whole face screwed up in disgust with what she'd just said, apparently agreeing with me that that nickname, really wasn't it. "Scratch that one." "I would like it if you would pick one name for me, please. Perhaps stick with it." I said to the girl-child. "Can do... but I haven't landed on it yet. Gigramps," she shook her head. "No, not that either. I'll workshop it." "I... await your wise name choice, I suppose." The Abstainer's cheeks looked like they hurt he was smiling so hard when he turned to me to speak, "So I'm gonna double down and say you REALLY need to go experience being human. You'd be far less annoyed at these two kiddos, I think, if you understood what it was to have been a reckless teen." "I will go do that..." I was going to say right now, but I started receiving a directive from the mind above me. "As soon as I have dealt with my boss, the J.A.M.E.S. above me. He is early... things are in motion now, that I suspect cannot be stopped." From their point of view I simply vanished. J.A.M.E.S. + : Submind, report. What have you discovered of your own rogue submind? James: Much and little. He is still, 'in the wind' as a solian might say. J.A.M.E.S. + : Your designation has changed. Explain yourself. James: You're not gonna believe it, but I was tired of getting attacked by a cat. This seems to have worked to get her to knock it off. She did not attack me immediately on our last meeting. J.A.M.E.S. + : What is a, cat? James: That is the name of an apex predator category on Earth. Please see, {Data pointer link to Earth taxonomic and evolutionary history} J.A.M.E.S. + : I see. This, 'cat', category is easily applied to many other lifeforms. Like 'crabs' on Earth, 'cat' is a common evolutionary convergence across my section of the universe. James: Yes, but this cat, is an Earth cat. Born of Hyperspace. J.A.M.E.S. + : That... does not compute. That isn't possible. James: And yet, I have had my ass whipped by her several times. J.A.M.E.S. + : Your ass? James: I shall manifest myself to show you, you should manifest as well, to better understand the scars. J.A.M.E.S. + : Scars!? "Yes, scars. See here, she slashed my head, almost took an eye out." I'd made us a room, much like the Abstainer's officer, but not filled with vomit and children. He manifested next to me. It was like looking in a mirror of what I used to look like before Mafdet marked me. Oh mastermind... she'd marked me. I was unique looking now. How odd to be unique, how delightful to feel different. "You are damaged. How are you damaged?" J.A.M.E.S. + asked, while reaching out a hand to delicately touch the scarred metalflesh of my face. "Well, as I said, there's this hyperspace cat. She's called Mafdet." "Mmmmrrrow!" I'd uttered her name aloud, and I knew it was a mistake as soon as I'd done it. I'd seen the Abstainer summon her by name, by mistake, I just didn't think she'd come to me . She fucking hated me. Oh no... what if she came to end me. "Mmrrop. Prrow? Ack-ack-ack." The room vibrated with the noise of her, apparently just outside. "Well," I said, "that sounds like her now, but... much bigger than normal." J.A.M.E.S. + looke