Mortal Protection Services Chapter 3: III.A: Abstainer

Read chapter 3 of Mortal Protection Services by B.T.Skull on NovelPedia.

III.A: Abstainer Well, I abstained. After 12 hours, I still didn't vote... ... Then there was a flash of light. "You cost a lot of computing power trying to crack, little simian." In front of me, there was an android. Humanoid body shape, but not really even attempting to pretend to be human. I could see seams on the torso. "I'm Jim. Or... his avatar. I am how Jim is choosing to communicate with you, for the time being." "Hey, Jim." I looked around. It seemed like I was in the med bay on the star ship Enterprise, waking up on one of the med-beds. It was a mix between the D and the Strange New Worlds med bays: dreamlike, sterile, and high-tech with little flashing lights that surely meant something to someone. "We fabricated this virtual room to fit your mind's idea of a 'cool but comfortable' sci-fi hospital. Technically you are still an energy structure in my ship in hyperspace. I do hope you are comfortable." "It tickles." "What, really? You shouldn't be feeling a-" Jim paused, "You're joshing me." "No..." I put a hand to my chest to clutch my imaginary pearls. "You'd think after a hundred thousand simulations of you never voting I'd have gotten used to that sass from you." "You'd think." Wait... he did what? "You've run my mind through a hundred thousand simulations? I don't remember any of that." "Only copies. Trying to figure out the best way to make you pick a fate, human." "Wait, what did you do with the copies?" "They were merely perfect simulations of you. They were not you, if that's what you're asking. I deleted their programs." "Oh, man... how do I know I'm even me, and not a simulation copy of me?" "Sixty-four percent of the time, when I mention you are currently being stored as an energy structure, you eventually 'freak out' and question whether you are a construct or a real person." "Oh, yeah? That's great! Good. Hit me with some more statistics about myself." I was not serious... But Jim said, "And, eighty-five percent of the time, you calm down about it after about five minutes of ranting, so... by all means, rant." "Oh, I'll fucking rant, alright!" I ranted, hard: 'Ship of Theseus', 'this is soul piracy', 'what gives you the right!?', and so on and so forth until finally... eventually... when I ran out of steam, 'Does it even matter?' "Impressive, the real you ranted longer than average, by almost a whole standard deviation before 'Does it matter?' arrived. No, it doesn't matter if you're the real you, or the fifty-thousandth copy. The data is still useful. You are, though. Real, I mean." "Great. I bet you say that to all of us." There was a small amount of rant-energy left in me, a touch of indignity to my voice. "Actually, I tended to tell the you the truth. I've found you are better behaved, for some reason, if you resign yourself to being a simulation. Many humans are, it seems. Funny quirk of your species. I prefer the truth, though the occasional lie can be quite entertaining, and useful." "So what's the plan here, Jim? Why are you talking to the real me, then? If I am even the real me." "Ah, well. This is literally your last chance to make a vote. Every single other human has already voted, even the tribal ones from Sentinel Island. That was a fun time, explaining all this to them. They're all staying with Earth and won't remember a thing. Probably gonna muck up their belief system that the stars are changing. Anyhow, per Mortal Protection Services regulations, I cannot offship any mortal that hasn't chosen a fate." "Abstain." "Oh, come on human, you're being obstinate for the sake of it, like you always do." Seeing an android throw up its hands in frustration was amusing, especially after the emotional turmoil I'd been put through. "That's some real 'only ran fifty thousand simulations' talk." "I called HQ about you - just now - because I give up. You tire me, mammal. HQ is getting the Temporal Investigative Services involved in this case... you stubborn ape." Jim threw his hands over his head and rot