The Worst Kobold Chapter 43: Storyweaver Interlude #3 - Kobold Sex Education

Read chapter 43 of The Worst Kobold by Thalaas on NovelPedia.

So, time again for a little bit of an interruption. Mostly because I already hear snickering in the audience. I will warn you, if some of you are blessed puritans who will burst into flame if I use the word ‘penis’, I suggest leaving now. I’m not trying to be vulgar or anything, but I think a little bit of explanation is in order as to what type of class Fluke and Coal are currently in. I realize not all races teach their children this way. But to remind you, as I have said before, this is a family friendly story! You see, first off? Kobolds are rather big on career focused education. Their lessons start out fairly broad, and then tend to focus on a single path for their profession. They also will have other specialized therapies, for children and even adults with various handicaps and disorders. Fluke and Grassweaver went three times a week to physical therapy lessons with Twitch, who helped them immensely. But, there were also some more broad, yet vital, classes that every kobold took. Reading, writing, spelunking. I know for most species, something like cave diving doesn’t sound necessary, but for a race that lives underground? It’s very important. You need to know about air flow, cave-ins, and a host of other issues that can kill you stone dead. Pun intended. Kobolds, though, also teach life skills. Including lectures about their bodies. You see, on the surface? Many other sapient races learn about the birds and the bees from, literally watching birds and the bees. There are stray dogs and cats, livestock, wildlife, all over the place. It doesn’t take long for a child to ask mommy ‘What are those two squirrels doing in the tree? Are they wrestling?” Underground? There’s not a lot of wildlife. Some small rodents and insects, but that was it. So, most clans have sex education classes. Honestly, I believe they are wonderful, if awkward for all involved. There’s a lot of biology questions a hatchling wants to know, but don’t want to ask their parents. I know I certainly didn’t want to. I mean, a lot of time you’d go and ask your friends. But let’s face it, asking children your own age about sex does not always give the most accurate answers. Griffon, for one, believed for the longest time male kobolds had two penises, because she read somewhere snakes had two. And, therefore, kobold men must have two as well! I kid you not. Please, don’t tell her that I told you that story if you ever meet her. Heck, most humans think kobold women have breasts and nipples, judging by some of the… artwork I’ve seen of them on the covers of other stories. Again, we are more closely related to reptiles than mammals. Anyway, these special classes start when we are quite young, and first involve proper grooming practices. Not every parent teaches their child the proper way to keep their claws clean, remove dead scales, or, most embarrassingly, clean their penile sheath. No giggling! Male kobolds have internal genitals, and proper grooming is important to stop rashes and infections. It’s important for budding hatchlings to have a safe place, to learn, and ask questions about a necessary topic such as this. Often, a teacher will learn a young kobold has an issue, and will be sent to a doctor for a proper check up. It does take a clan to raise a hatchling after all. Later on we learn about basic biology. That involves kobold puberty. Kobolds share some traits in common with other races, such as their voices getting deeper and getting a growth spurt. Though, most don’t get one as dramatic as Fluke did. But kobolds do have some more unique factors. Their horns tend to grow thicker and wider, they shed scales much more frequently due to their size increase, and tails tend to grow longer and broader to help them keep better balance. Then? There is the most psychological aspect. Kobolds are like just about every other species, sentient or not, in that aspect. And everyone, me included, started seeing the opposite sex in a new light. This is where sex educa